Happy New Year...2009.

Happy NUDE Year...2009.

2008 hasn't been a bad year for HiaoUncle...can't really complain....

One of the best things of course was getting to know more about someone sweet like you my Hiao'C'......some times weird lah, funny lah and all shapes and sizes i know..opsss (just JOKING pls dont pull my ear...hehee).

and i am definetly looking forward to welcome 2009 with open ARMS and LEGs!!!

To all my readers, look and go visitor, Friends and Hiao'C', I wish you a HAPPY KICK ASS New Year!!!!

A aunty kiss for u all....hahaa.

New Year resolutions.

Someone asked me..ok lah Hiao 'C' asked me yesterday, why does i call myself HiaoUncle?(so she know my HU blog ad...)
My dear new friend, readers, visitor and Hiao 'C' ah...If i really Hiao Hiao, i won’t even have time to go to the toilet to pangsai(Berak @ Poo), what more blog HiaoUncle so much??? .. but i really dont know why i call my self HiaoUncle in the 1st place, maybe to let me readers and friends feel happy...

So, I am going to comfort myself, wiping off the scary images of being HiaoUncle by writing down what I am going to do next year in 2009. I am going to list down things that I can do ‘independently’ or maybe with u darling 'C'.

1) In January, I am going to meet all bloggers network penang sponsored and organised by Penang State Gov and YB Tuan Hj Malik. I think I am very qualified because I can write, I can ’see and sniff’ news, I can take photos and who can present an issue to capture people’s interest like HiaoUncle a.k.a AsidBurnMacyKoh???

2) I am going to let u(Hiao 'C') cook for me!!! i need freedom from the kitchen.

3) In 2009, I am going to take back a follow up course on my BBM (Bachelor of Business Management) .

4) I am going to make sure that I do better in 2009 than 2008. But then, with the recession looming, people losing their jobs and etc. I am very Happy to Be YB Tuan Ong Chin Wen 'PA' for KADUN Bukit Tengah, Penang.

5) I won’t make foolish New Year resolutions like losing weight etc. If I can do vegetarian fasting for 30 days, I will be satisfied.

6) I am going to wish for property prices in Penang to drop so that HiaoUncle can buy for u(Hiao 'C') a bigger place.

7) I hope to at least travel to Bali in 2009. Of course, on the top of my list of places to go are Japan, Korea, China, Israel (heh...), Thai, Viet kong....

8) I am going to continue being HiaoUncle on my blogs for the benefits of humankind...hahaa.

9) I pray that ‘the project’ I am currently doing will bear fruits.

10) Lastly, I hope to see the country get rid of its Bolehland image and be rule by justice, peace and harmony(PR).

And this shall be my New Year 2009 resolutions. 10 things to follow through or maybe more.

So, what’s your resolutions?

Slim Santa Please Stand Up!!!!

How you ever wonder why the old elf always has difficulties fitting into clothes other than the silly looking red suit??? Trouble coming down the chiminey???

Ever wonder how he would look if he’s fit and trim, works out in a gym?

Would you prefer this(Like Seng Seng)?????

Or This(Like HiaoUncle)???

Drunk Seng.

This one like peter 10 years ago....

Juhu and Joy Joy sure like this...hahaa..(Clean kar chui).

and if your nice, not naughty santa might give you a little gift.

Happy Christmas to all Readers, friends and visiters....!!!

I cant wait for Gong Xi Fa Cai....hahaa.

Happy Holiday!!!!

This Christmas, I'm Spending It Alone...:(

Cheers and here’s wishing all a very Merry Christmas!!!!
Can’t wait to unwrap my presents.... Ho Ho Ho!!!!


HiaoUncle wish:-

- for lots of happiness in the year of OX 2009...
- everything i touch will turn to GOLD not shit...
- for alot more RM to spend...
- look handsome even tho i call myself Uncle...
- HiaoUncle next Christmas,
will not be ALONE...

Come, HiaoUncle teach u Hiao Christmas song:-

Jingle Bells, KukuJiao,
Jingle all the way,
O what fun it is to Hide,
In toilet Tah Fei Kei.....Hei..(repeat)...hahaa.

Ok lah, Enjoy ur Christmas and Have a great 2009!!!

How are you going to tell the taxi driver....?

Taxi Driver : Nak ke mana cik?
Hiao 'C' : Saya nak ke bandar Sunway(Kl one k). Dekat jer, kat Jalan PukiMak U Lah...!!!
Taxi Driver : Cik. Tak boleh ke gunakan bahasa yang lebih sopan.
Hiao 'C' : Nak sopan macam mana lagi???. Dah memang itu nama jalannya..!!!
Driver : KNNCCB*...&*%$#@#

Types Of 'nen nen ku' & 'kukujiao'!!! Which Type are Yours?

The HiaoUncle family is sitting at the dinner table.

HiaoUncle son asks HiaoUncle, "Dad, how many kinds of 'nen nen ku' ( breast ) are there?"
HiaoUncle, surprised!!! answers, "Well son, there's three kinds of 'nen nen ku'.

In her twenties, a woman's 'nen nen ku' are like melons, round & firm.
In her thirties & forties, they are like pears, still nice, but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them, and they make you cry."

This infuriated Hiao 'C' and HiaoUncle daughter so my daughter says, "Mom, how many types of "kukujiao" ( dick ) are there?"
Hiao 'C', surprised!!! smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases.

In his twenties, his 'kukujiao' is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his thirties & forties, it's like a birch tree, flexible but reliable.
After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree??"
"Yes dear, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."


To my dear readers which type of 'Kukujiao' or 'nen nen ku' u got???

hahahaaaaa...

Happy Holiday, Happy Christmas!!!

The Ways To Win A Woman's Heart

HiaoUncle sometimes see a couple, the girl very swee, sexy, good figure and very chio some more and then when me look at the man besides her, Kanasai!!! not good looking, in fact ugly is a better word to describe him.

Sometimes, it really makes me wonder why some men can have pretty women as wife?

I always wondered how then can a man attract a woman, in other words, what factors and characteristics must a man have in order to be able to attract a woman?

In my shallow opinion, I could only think of the following points:-

1. Handsome Face
2. Rich
3. Muscular Body
4. Able to Sweet Talk
5. A good Cook
6. Musical Talent - Able to play guitar, piano, violin etc
7. Able to compose songs
8. Big Expensive Car
9. Humorous
10. Smart
11. Caring

Hmmn, let me see how many of the above points do I have:-

1. Handsome Face : i dont have handsome face, Hum-sup face can or not?

FAIL

2. Rich : Young time where got money? Always money not enough.

FAIL

3. Muscular Body : Only got one big round muscle which is the cluster from 6-pack(like what peter said:- ITALY), dont play play, not easy to maintain.

FAIL

4. Sweet Talk : HiaoUncle pro i this...hhaaa. Not like Owstwind start conversation with 'oi'.

PASS

5. Good Cook : Can only cook instant noodle some more not nice one, wanna try???.

FAIL

6. Musical Talent : Zero knowledge on musical instruments. Play instrument? Play marble and catch people clever la.

FAIL

7. Compose songs : Write compositions also got problem liao, how to compose songs?

FAIL

8. Big Expensive Car : Young time where got money to buy car, big bus can or not?

FAIL

9. Humorous : Self-proclaimed that I very humorous one and always love to tell joke.

PASS

10. Smart : Don't think so, average IQ only.

11. Caring : Hmmn maybe I was caring towards my Hiao'C' nya, must ask her later...hehee.

So, looking at all 11 points, think HiaoUncle me maybe only got 2 to 3...hahaa!!! not bad.

But I think in a relationship, it is the chemistry that counts and nothing else.........

Nice ad:- answer

This is what HiaoUncle found:-


Hahahaaaa.....

Nice ad

Can you guy see what HiaoUncle see in this newspaper ad???
I will give u my answer the next day if no one know's...hahaa.


Enjoy...!!!!

Old friends of the round table.

It was about 3.45pm yesterday when i was caught at a infamous juru high way crawl, instead of getting all worked up and very Tulan, i tried picturing what goes on in the other night meet out.

I just wanna comment something about what u girls should wear in anyother coming meet out...wear like joann lah, it's easy let HiaoUncle teach u, just go and buy Triumph super-duper Maximizer, uplifting ''MAKING MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS'' bra and u will look like this:-

Every time we meet up, i was really disappointed because the longkang was all covered up!!!

Love And Marriage

Quenny Koh, HiaoUncle卡你讲...(Love and Marriage)...only my 2 sen.

Love is holding hands in the street.

Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.

Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa..

Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is going to bed early.

Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is losing your appetite.

Marriage is losing your figure.

Tv has no place in love.

Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.

Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!!!"

Fresh Milk

New packaging for Dutch Lady, HiaoUncle version.

Every guys will buy Dutch Lady now...

HiaoUncle Eye Test..

Here is the Eye Test that you will need to go thru after using the AIOP's product for more than one months.

Please read the following text:

1. If you able to read all the text - You are still healthy. Everything OK.

2. If you can't read, it may be due to one or more of the follwoing reasons:
A) You fucked up already
B) You colour blind
C) You are just blind
D) You never study English...

One Night in KL Club....

HiaoUncle's KL friend GF is standing in the middle of 2 leng loi.
Look...

HiaoUncle rate FAIL....!!!!
u guys and girls see :-





Wa piang..Post some more....yyyeeeee...puiii.;

HiaoUncle back to my Hotel room, ran to the toilet bowl and.......

Unemployed Dickman..

Only Boyz understand...hahaa.

The government had taxed every part of our body except the penis. U know why?
HiaoUncle tell u why, this is because:

70% of the time it is hanging around unemployed,

10% of the time it is pissed off,

10% of the time it is having hard times,

and the balance 10% of the time it is hiding in the hole.

On top of this, it has two dependents and

both of them are nuts!!!!

Najib converted to hindu‏..Hehee....

Wah, after few days at Shah Alam HiaoUncle Email Box Full...600++ mail to read.

HiaoUncle was very SHOCK when i open a mail and know that our Malaysia have move to change like US... NAJIB too...

Breaking News.....Wakakakakaaaa.

Najib Enjoy alot...

He Join Hindraf....wahahaa...opssss, i laugh until my balls pop out....hahahaaaa...

HiaoUncle amazing mind.

I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU???

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

Olny 55 plepoe can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

To my dear Hiao readers, can u read what I have written??? Well I am not only ‘Hiao’ but I got ‘amazing’ mind tooooooo! Aiyah if still cannot make head or tail what I have written well the following is in 'plain' English!

If you can read this, you have a strange mind too. Can you read this?

Only 55 people can. I couldn’t believe that I could actually understand what I was reading. The phenomenal power of the human mind, according to a research at Cambridge University, it doesn’t matter in what order the letter in a word are, the only important thing is that the first and last litter be in the right place. The rest can be a total mass and you can still read it without a problem. This is because the human mind does not read every letter by itself, but the word as a whole. Amazing huh? Yeah and I always thought spelling was important!

So now can understand? Well I actually got this in my 'Hiao like fishball' mail. The part in 'plain' English is your truly translation.

China Hair Bands...

This morning HiaoUncle jalan-jalan in Pasar Pagi Bukit Mertajam, and i saw lots of stall selling cheap products...probably from china since they are very cheap!!!

So, HiaoUncle buy some colourful hair bands from a cute seller....thinking of present to JUHU and JoyJoy aka KukuJiao when we go for a holiday next month.

Wah colourful....sweeeeett.

Than i just wanna know what is in side a hair band....

Cut slowly......

Than i found some pink colour thing in side....

OMFG!!!! its u use condom!!!!!!!!!! MCB, KNNCCB, F!!!!!!

These Hair bands were made from used condoms and threads. That was so disgusting...weakkkkkk.

Would JUHU and JoyJoy aka Kukujiao want to use them!!???

wakakakaaaa.

Al Qaeda's Newest Recruits

Wah...HiaoUncle was shock when i heard Al Qaeda's newest recruits in Penang Botanical Garden..


.


.

.

Now we gotta worry about terrorist monkeys?

(HiaoUncle think monkey looks handsom than soldiers...hahaaa)

When HiaoUncle cats play FUNNY computer games..

When my cat Play Funny Games(u all know lah, HiaoUncle likes to play on people, even pets....)....they looks like this:-

Hahaa...funny right...hahaa...

.

.

.

.

.

.

and this cat more OMFG!!!!(Shock)..

ok, u boys and girls can't wait to play this game is that right...???

ok, like what HiaoUncle always say...good things must share..

http://www.embosscreative.com/warnerbros/exorcist/exorcistgame.html

Enjoy...its a great Game....

.

.

.

.

.

Hahahahahhahaahahahahahaaaaaaa

and

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa

and still

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa

Until one of my cat TULAN.....

and shout (Shut tha F**k Up)...hahahaaa!!!!

HiaoUncle LIFE!!!

Sometimes there are things in life that are beyond our control. As much as you want to be in control of everything, as much as you want to have a say in life, there will always be times when you feel lost and helpless.

Sometimes when you think that things are going your way and you finally decide to let your guards down, you'd immediately find yourself in a dark hole again. Weak, hopeless and vulnerable.

That dark hole is where I am now. I've been through that so many times. And I still have not learned my lesson.

Hope HiaoUncle will get back to his Hiao like fishball world soon.......so where is my .....................??????!!!!!!!

Moral Lesson from HiaoUncle in year 2008.

HiaoUncle really learn alot in this year of the Rat.

1. "Contentment is not the fulfillment of what i want, it is the realization of how much i already have."

2. When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

3. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

4. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

5. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Hope u all HiaoUncle readers, bloggers, friends and visitors learn something....

HiaoUncle...What Is Election....???

One fine day HiaoUncle on the way home from AutoCity car show with few young followers, useless boy(one of HiaoUncle member) asked me….

Useless boy: “HiaoUncle, HiaoUncle what is election?”

HiaoUncle: “Well useless boy, it seems like you are still caught up with the election that happened 8 months ago. Although you may be too young to understand it fully, I’ll try my best to explain.”

Useless boy: “Hmmm......Errrrrrrr…ok”

HiaoUncle: “Election is democratic process held every 4 years to select the RAKYAT’s representatives to hold office and represent them in parliament.”

*Useless boy looking like tidak faham....he betul betul tidak faham..hehee...*

Useless boy: “I can get elected?”

HiaoUncle: “Of course not. Not now anyway. You’ll need to study very very very hard and serve the community before you are eligible”

Useless boy: “But I already got elected.....”

HiaoUncle: “In hiao uncle movement??? Well done my student!!!!”

Useless boy: “No, no… not in the hiao uncle movement. Just now in AutoCity car show”

HiaoUncle: “huuuh?

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

Useless Boy: “Just now the lenglui japanese swenz sister peluk-peluk me my kukujiao elected loh..….”

*(Thanks the very useless boy for those email)*

Safe SEX...

HiaoUncle teach safe sex, while DUREX time...hehee.



Hmmm, dunno if that'll be effective!!!..hahaa.
sure got baby...!

NGV anyone???

Can the cooking gas cylinder be converted into NGV natural gas tank for cars or vans??? If you think it can be done, think twice again. HiaoUncle was reading TheStar online..(nah this link :-http://www.thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2008/11/9/nation/2501046&sec=nation) news that two brothers illegally modified the cooking gas tank into NGV tank. While they were refueling gas at the Petronas gas station, it suddenly exploded killing one of them.



Now HiaoUncle got to reconsider if i wanna convert my super toyota altis into NGV systerm. What happens if someone bang into my rear and HiaoUncle exploded into pieces????

Bro Einston Tong still wanna LOMPAT si KATAK LOMPAT???

This is what we talk yesterday bro'sssss...

Want to be a Millionaire????



Joined MCA!!!

HiaoUncle pets - part 1

All about HiaoUncle pets........


This is HiaoUncle super cat...


They love Politic, love, sex and all hiao hiao things like HiaoUncle....


They learn KARATE when they were young....HU super cat can self defence, so no worry for me about their safety.
Peter, Joyjoy, Juhu and Hugo Ong don't buli my cat, he will kick ur ares.


They like football too, best post...Goal Keeper.
My HU super cat train hard to join 2010 Malaysia cup for Kucing.


hahaaa....HU cat like basketball to like Einston tong, beware Piston rotary is here...!!!!