SomeOne so nice to Knit a didi warmer for HiaoUncle.

Wah..Hiao Uncle is very lucky to get this lovely worming gift from hiao aunty.
she knit it for m is because she want my didi to kept warm with a willy warmer when I’m ‘on the road’....hehee.

Thanks Dear....

How to teach SEX Education???

Ok....If you are a FATHER or MOTHER one day, how you teach ur children SEX education???
Below is what happen yesterday:-

Hiao Aunty: Did u teach ur 'Anak murid' about sex education thing or not???

Hiao Uncle: Aiyah...Got lor!!! No need worry so much lah!!! when my student small small time, i already teach them sex education ad. *Ask all my Hiao student and see...*.

Hiao Student: :)...(so proud all they know).

Hiao Aunty: Wah....u so cool one leh..!!! i malu teach my student la!!! I remember last time when i was small, i ask my father why brother got ''BIRD BIRD'' and i dont have!!! u know what my father answer me ah??? u guess???

Hiao Uncle: If u ask me to guess, sure funny one...., OK...ur father sure tell you you also got one...hehee, but ur daddy ask got to keep it inside, scare people steal away mah...hahaa. correct ah???

Hiao Aunty: Hahaa....no lah, my father told me the truth, he tell me not to worry, i also got something my brother also dont have....

Hiao Uncle: Hmmm...like that also can ah??? Eerrr...what i think is just boys got their ovaries hanging outside..hahaa, not exactly accurate but still a bit sex education right...hehee!!!

One of Hiao Uncle student start tunjuk pandai....
HU Student: For me i will teach my small girl(if i have one lah)...i wanna teach her how to refuse and say 'NO' to people when she big time, also teach her the words 'DON'T!!!' and 'STOP!!!', i will encouraged her to use these words as often as she could so next time when big time those words can easy sasy come out from her mouth when boyfriend want to do something naughty to her...clever or not???

Hiao Uncle: Cleverr...my shit!!! bikin malu geng!!! you got think or not....what is she next time so fluent with the two words that she also can join them up together and say 'DON'T STOP!!!!....OMG....PLEASE DON'T STOP!!! like that also can jadi wor??? How that time???

HU Student: correct hor..!!! never realize that also. But no worry lah, now they already know quite big, sure got teach them things like Safe Sex ma....

Hiao Uncle: Safe SEX....you mean as advised by our Minister of health...to check everywhere see got hidden CCTVs or not first before doing anything silly ah???

HU Student: No lah..I'm talking about putting on the rubber...that 'You can't go wrong if u cover ur didi'...condom/helmet lah!!! (* Note: GOD says: peter cant wear rubber in his didi, or next Tsunami will hit the world again, peter GF if u read hiaouncle blog PLEASE dont encourage him to wear condom or any rubber...thanks for safe the world!!!)

Hiao Aunty: Hahaa...your student so open minded one....encourage them to do it. Hiao Aunty salute u Hiao Uncle!!!

Hiao Uncle: Not exactly as you see, i only pretend to encourage nia...i bluff teach them...'Before using condom, it is very important to unroll completely and check for any lubang/holes, but asians like us usually don't roll that far down.....

Hiao Aunty: Hahaa!!! by the time he can put on after checking...his cock sleep liao....hahaa!!! Btw Hiao Uncle, do you worry about SEX EDUCATION in school or any other program??? can we really trust these people to teach sex to our children, bro or sister???

Hiao Uncle: If those instructor only allowed to talk only no practical ok lah, if not they take advantage of the situation to touch hre, touch there, touch everywhere!!! But i think dun't worry lah, the only practical from hiao uncle uni is they may have is to play play with dolls imported from Hong Kong(Not china)!!!! They can go 'like this, like that, like this, like that...Oops!!! eeeekkkk!!! Why got baby come out one?....Wakakakaaaaa!!!!


Hong Kong Family Planning BEFORE!!!


Dolls AFTER pracrical.......hahaa!!!!!

***Ah Tong, you can BUY this dolls too...and u can play everywhere u want...wakakaaa..***

Today very EMO because meet F...

Very EMO when i meet someone who talks $lui lui lui $.....like wanna take my didi away from me.
Like this EMO cow below......but he looks horny, not emo...hehee.

and i cry because u........ from me :( .

i found some position, still cant find rich woman position...

Any good things i always share, but today i heard a new position its call RICH WOMAN position... i ask so many experience and expert... wth is rich woman position, all shake head....

and i ask mr and mrs skeletons, but the only know 5 position...

Peter, ah tong....any idea is RICH WOMAN position???

Anyone if u know, pls give some idea....?

Tag from some readers...

From Peter-

1) Are your parents married or divorced?
(too personal, i choose not to answer)

2) Are you a vegetarian?
no i m not, are u?

3) Do you believe in Heaven?
do u believe in hell?

4) Have you ever come close to dying?
yea.

5) What jewellery do you wear 24/7?
no money=no jewelery.

6) Favourite time of day?
when i m getting laid of coz.

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
i told u, i m not a vegetarian.

8) Do you wear makeup?
i'm not a guy/fag/tranny. Duh! so is my bester kamerad hiao uncle. Duh!

9) Do you colour your hair?
no, we are not TK's(tu kau's aka chao ah beng)

10) What do you wear to bed?
i sleep naked. hahahaha

11) Have you ever done anything illegal?
what is illegal to u, might not be illegal to me.

12) Can you roll your tongue?
of coz, must learn how to.

13) Do you tweeze your eyebrows?
no

14) Do you believe in Abortions?
no

15) What is your Hair color?
natural, go figure it out urself.

16) Future child’s name?
havent think of it yet.

17) Do you snore?
none of ur business.

18) If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
then, i would go anywhere i want to.

19) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
go get my moolah.

20) Gold or silver?
silver or gold?

21) Hamburger or hot dog?
hot dog or hamburger?

22) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
geez, thats very tricky, what would yours be?

23) City, beach or country?
all d above.

24) What was the last thing you touched?
my keyboard.

25) When’s the last time you cried?
dont remember.

26) Ever been involved with the police?
in what manner? could u please elaborate more?

27) What’s your favourite shampoo conditioner and soap?
whats that gotta do with u? u gay or smth?

28) Do you talk in your sleep?
no. do u?

29) Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend?
wth is "ménage à trois"?

30) Window seat or aisle?
whats d diff?

31) Ever met anyone famous?
yea, alot.

32) Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
yea.

33) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
geez, u gay or smth?

34) Barack Obama or John McCain?
well...see question number 14 for d answer.

35) Basketball or Football?
golf.

36) How long do your showers last?
none of ur fucking business, gay.

37) Cake or ice cream?
ice cream or cake?

38) Have you ever drank so much you threw up?
why? u got a problem with drinking?

39) Have you ever given money to a beggar?
no.

40) Have you been in love?
ok, thats a tricky one, yes in love with females, (NOT MALES)

41) Where do you wish you were?
right infront of u, so that i can whack d hell out of u.

42) Are you wearing socks?
why? socks turn u on?

43) Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
so now what? its ur ambition to be an ambulance driver?

44) Can you tango?
omg!!! u want to dance the tango with me now??? 101% certified gay

45) Last sport you played?
golf.

46) Things you spend a lot of money on?
nothing.

47) Where do you live?
on earth.

48) Where were you born?
in d hospital.

49) Last wedding attended?
dont remember

50) Favorite position?
what position?

51) Most hated food(s)?
wth is this, how many times i've told u?? I'M NOT A FUCKING VEGETARIAN.

52) Can you sing?
omg!! now u want to ask me out on a date to some karaoke session? hell no! i ain't gay.

53) Last person you instant messaged?
definitely not u.

54) Last place you went on holiday?
why u want to know? u a stalker now?

55) Favourite regular drink?
whats regular drink? is there a "REGULAR" drink in this world?

From Joy JOy

1) Are your parents married or divorced?
- yi…I choose not to answer…~.~

2) Are you a vegetarian?
- nope but I like to eat vege...

3) Do you believe in Heaven?
- hmm may be...

4) Have you ever come close to dying?
- errr….intermittent...

5) What jewellery do you wear 24/7?
- hmm…..why must on this specific date? I wear everyday wor ;p

6) Favourite time of day?
- hmm…..sleeping time..;p (I know hiao uncle answer )

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
- er yes….i like vege ma ;p

8) Do you wear makeup?
- not often...

9) Do you colour your hair?
- er….yes…but dunno what color now change too..

10) What do you wear to bed?
- yi..too personal d la…..no answer..

11) Have you ever done anything illegal?
- errrr……dunno..haha

12) Can you roll your tongue?
- my tongue too short...

13) Do you tweeze your eyebrows?
- yi..how to tweeze ar?

14) Do you believe in Abortions?
- ha mit lai?

15) What is your Hair color?
- er same question again kah?

16) Future child’s name?
- depends on my future husband..have to discuss with him first ;p

17) Do you snore?
- no kua..

18) If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
- everywhere wor...

19) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
- let me get it first then I plan ;p

20) Gold or silver?
- hmm what do u mean gold or silver…

21) Hamburger or hot dog?
- hmm what do u mean Hamburger or hot dog?

22) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- water ;p

23) City, beach or country?
- hmm what do u mean City, beach or country?

24) What was the last thing you touched?
- keyboard lo…typing answer for u ma..

25) When’s the last time you cried?
- even I yawning I will get tears oso…so izzit answering ur question ar?

26) Ever been involved with the police?
- car summon can consider one of that arr

27) What’s your favourite shampoo conditioner and soap?
- no specific….mix n match ;p

28) Do you talk in your sleep?
- er….how do I know I will talk or not wor…nobody beside me ;p

29) Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend?
- errr…...

30) Window seat or aisle?
- har …..i cant get ur question...

31) Ever met anyone famous?
- hmm…hiao uncle consider famous kah?

32) Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
- hmmm interesting question...

33) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
- how to cut ar?

34) Barack Obama or John McCain?
- er….again…I dun understand ur question...

35) Basketball or Football?
- hmm….fishball…I still not get what u ask...

36) How long do your showers last?
- errrr….last time ar…I have no clock inside my badroom…so I dunno..

37) Cake or ice cream?
- hmm……again…skip…I dun get u..

38) Have you ever drank so much you threw up?
- never yet ;p

39) Have you ever given money to a beggar?
- errr…….

40) Have you been in love?
- what love? Parent love? Fren love? Coll love?

41) Where do you wish you were?
- never think about this question..

42) Are you wearing socks?
- now no..i wear high heel..

43) Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
- touch wood ;p

44) Can you tango?
- so so

45) Last sport you played?
- yiii……forgot d

46) Things you spend a lot of money on?
- eat..

47) Where do you live?
- can I ask u to answer first b4 I answer?

48) Where were you born?
- can I ask u to answer first b4 I answer?

49) Last wedding attended?
- last year kok...

50) Favorite position?
- rich woman..

51) Most hated food(s)?
- at the moment no answer cause I'm hungry now..

52) Can you sing?
- yes……I got witness Hiao Uncle heard it b4….

53) Last person you instant messaged?
- haha..hiao uncle lo...

54) Last place you went on holiday?
- I have my holiday mood everyday..so which place ar?

55) Favourite regular drink?
- water…..

Reply to UselessBoy tag...

1) Are your parents married or divorced?
Hmmmmm....married.

2) Are you a vegetarian?
No, my religion does not allow me to eat/drink vegetables or any kind of greens. Only meat. Vegetables scream when you cut them.

3) Do you believe in Heaven?
Firstly no, but now that a certain group from arab says there are virgins awaiting especially when you blow yourself up….YES!!!

4) Have you ever come close to dying?
Yes, when.... see picture below ur self....


5) What jewellery do you wear 24/7?
Jewellery ah????....penis ring counted ah? hehee....

6) Favourite time of day?
It has to be DUREX time.

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
Oi...so useless ah, see answer 2.

8) Do you wear makeup?
Hhmmm...let me think, maybe yes....I painted Italy colours on my face before, when worldcup.

9) Do you colour your hair?
Be specific can anot? Are you talking about hair on head??? kkc region??? Armpits or chest????

10) What do you wear to bed?
When i’m horny...or......not?

11) Have you ever done anything illegal?
Yes, when Hiao Uncle was young...i used my expertise to modify my suzuki RGV bikes for Saturday nights illegal races.

12) Can you roll your tongue?
Hahaa..this one Hiao Uncle very pandai, roll around nipple.

13) Do you tweeze your eyebrows?
No. But I learn from disaster movie, shaved a friend’s eyebrows when he is sleeping.

14) Do you believe in Abortions?
Hiao Uncle is a good man k!!!! so, no comment is this question.

15) What is your Hair color?
See answer 9...what hair???

16) Future child’s name?
Declare or not declare ones???

17) Do you snore?
Don't know....ask my.......C.

18) If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
Palestine. I heard they’ve got great fireworks display everynight!

19) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Sorry, never buy....

20) Gold or silver?
I choose gold.

21) Hamburger or hot dog?
Hamburgers of course. It looks like the chee bye when held up sideways add mayonaise that resembles love juice…uulaalaaa, sedap.

22) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
See above question 21

23) City, beach or country?
Wherever got lenglui, I go.

24) What was the last thing you touched?
keybord and mouse..if before that, i just come out from toilet, sure my didi lah.

25) When’s the last time you cried?
Reading the newspapers. I laughed so hard I cried. These days the local political scenes from BN are damn funny.

26) Ever been involved with the police?
Yes. Mostly rasuah them.

27) What’s your favourite shampoo conditioner and soap?
Shampoo??? Sunsilk...(Do u have a hair lost problem???)

28) Do you talk in your sleep?
Sometimes..scary leh.

29) Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend?
Don’t know wat wat wat menage...Minachi (indian girl) i know lah.

30) Window seat or aisle?
Anyside that can Cuci mata...is ok for me.

31) Ever met anyone famous?
Yes, YB, Ahli Parliment and our Malaysia next PM (DSAI).

32) Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
Yes.

33) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Cooked or uncooked spaghetti?? Not yet cook how to twirl???

34) Barack Obama or John McCain?
Tan Seri Hiao Uncle, can ah?


35) Basketball or Football?
I prefer watching ladies playing tennis. Those bouncing papaya more interesting.


36) How long do your showers last?
Depends on who I am showering with. I like to scrub her back and she scrubs mine.

37) Cake or ice cream?
Ice cream….when I want to spread it all over her body and lick it off her.

38) Have you ever drank so much you threw up?
Hahahaa!! What do you think???

39) Have you ever given money to a beggar?
No, but i am poor too, can i rob a beggar?

40) Have you been in love?
I keep it to my self!!! Personal.

41) Where do you wish you were?
In a island with lots of bazooka sexy woman (below 35) and only me could provide the only source of liquid protein. Heheeee!!!!

42) Are you wearing socks?
No.

43) Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
CB useless kia u!!! Choi choi choi!!!

44) Can you tango?
No, I prefer a-go-go.

45) Last sport you played?
Golf, 30+ hours ago.

46) Things you spend a lot of money on?
Best of the best DVD, and...soon my new car.

47) Where do you live?
In one of Pakatan Rakyat state.

48) Where were you born?
Bukit Mertajam.

49) Last wedding attended?
Definitely not mine.

50) Favorite position?
What position??? Sleeping position???

51) Most hated food(s)?
All those food sold along the North-South Highway, every stall also sells the same thing.

52) Can you sing?
Little bit lah…

53) Last person you instant messaged?
One of my Hiao recearch department, mr p.

54) Last place you went on holiday?
With the GF a.k.a wife or G punya friends?

55) Favourite regular drink?
DUTCH LADY.

Useless boy tag me....???

Wah so many ah, u really are useless boy....
I try to answer all those tonight, when i am free...
Btw, got trick question ah?????

1) Are your parents married or divorced?
2) Are you a vegetarian?
3) Do you believe in Heaven?
4) Have you ever come close to dying?
5) What jewellery do you wear 24/7?
6) Favourite time of day?
7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
8) Do you wear makeup?
9) Do you colour your hair?
10) What do you wear to bed?
11) Have you ever done anything illegal?
12) Can you roll your tongue?
13) Do you tweeze your eyebrows?
14) Do you believe in Abortions?
15) What is your Hair color?
16) Future child’s name?
17) Do you snore?
18) If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be?
19) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
20) Gold or silver?
21) Hamburger or hot dog?
22) If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
23) City, beach or country?
24) What was the last thing you touched?
25) When’s the last time you cried?
26) Ever been involved with the police?
27) What’s your favourite shampoo conditioner and soap?
28) Do you talk in your sleep?
29) Who would you take on a ménage à trois for a dirty weekend?
30) Window seat or aisle?
31) Ever met anyone famous?
32) Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life?
33) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
34) Barack Obama or John McCain?
35) Basketball or Football?
36) How long do your showers last?
37) Cake or ice cream?
38) Have you ever drank so much you threw up?
39) Have you ever given money to a beggar?
40) Have you been in love?
41) Where do you wish you were?
42) Are you wearing socks?
43) Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
44) Can you tango?
45) Last sport you played?
46) Things you spend a lot of money on?
47) Where do you live?
48) Where were you born?
49) Last wedding attended?
50) Favorite position?
51) Most hated food(s)?
52) Can you sing?
53) Last person you instant messaged?
54) Last place you went on holiday?
55) Favourite regular drink?

Wa lau...55 tag...die o.
read tonight...

Hiao Uncle Is Back In Action with some story to share!!!

Hiao Uncle wanna ask u all, Do you know how much 1 EJACULATION cost?????

Dont know...hahaa. ok good things must share...

You know, there are times when you feel very very poor and got no money to eat. And you are desperate to earn money… and you knowla…working salary is damn slow lor.
So the secret to earn fast money (this I learn from usless boy story when he went to Barcelona)....…….

Follow instruction wor….
1) Go download porn. (eh got any nice website, remember to share ok? Dun be selfish)

2) Watch and TFK. (i know sure some people don't know what is TFK, its Ta Fei Kei (hitting the aeroplane), cantonese for masturbation.

3) Ejaculate!

4) Sell your sperms for 50 euros.

5) 50 euro x 4.8(or maybe more..example only k) = rm 240! Can eat pringles for 1/2 year ad!!!!

I’m not joking about this. In Spain, there were ads everywhere offering 50 euro for your sperms. Imagine you can ejaculate 3 times a day = 3 x 50 euros. Rich la...

Girls also can sell, 1 ovum cost 900 euro. But you know how precious is the egg, 1 month only produce 1. And the ovum can live for 24 hours only so very difficult to catch the right time to extract it.

Guys different. They can distribute their sperms anytime. So make full use of it, dun just waste ur sperm and flush it into the toilet bowl. Go earn some money dude! And ejaculate minimum 5 times a week can prevent prostate cancer.....

1 stone shoot 2 birds. 50 euros + cancer free. If you know.. prostate cancer is one of the top 3 cancer that kills men in malaysia....

Your sperms will go to sperm bank in the hospital and help people that couldn’t get children to have children. Or maybe.. hmm u know lesbians wanna have children and usually they get from sperm bank.

So, go stay is spain, u will be happy there, in malaysia dont have sperm bank... thats y malaysian so poor(PMS) everyday.

P/S: This post is for laugh only ok? Dun sue me for indecency.

Introducing AIOP 2...another bom bom product.

Introducing, AIOP2 SHOWER POWER....another new product from Hiao Uncle.

The guide u tell u all:-

Made in China............................................

Innovative Divorce Settlement

A couple decided to divorce.

They want to avoid the convoluted divorce processes.

The husband and wife agreed to the distribution of asset and the house - both agreed to a 50-50 settlement.

The wife got half of the house.

This half house is the wife's portion of the asset.

The other half is taken away by the husband.

It was a win-win settlement by the Cambodian couple...Malaysian can follow this settlement too..hahaa

Very FUNNY...

Hiao Uncle got this from an email:

''A housewife takes a lover in her house and unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

Suddenly, her husband comes home and she hid the lover in the closet.

Boy: Dark in here.
Man: Yeah it is.
Boy: I have a baseball.
Man: That’s nice.
Boy: Want to buy it?
Man: No.
Boy: My dad’s outside.
Man: Ok how much?
Boy: $250.

A week later the same thing happened.

Boy: Dark in here.
Man: Yeah it is.
Boy: I have a baseball glove.
Man: How much?
Boy: $750.
Man: Grr. Fine.

A few days later, the father of the boy tells the boy to grab his glove and they are going to play a game of baseball.

Boy: I can’t. I sold my glove and the baseball to my friends.
Father: How much did you sell them for?
Boy: $1000.
Father: That’s an awful lot of money you overcharge your friends. This is terrible and I will have you go to the church with me to make a confession.

They go to the church and the boy’s father alerts the priest and was led to the confession booth.

Boy: Dark in here.
Priest: Don’t start that shit again!!!

Hahaa....verry Fking Funny..

Hiao Uncle is creative in Music..

Who wanna Learn Music from Hiao Uncle..????
It's FOC (Female only), for male..Pls go Saifool music class. Thanks...

hiao

adj: full of playful allure,

Welcome to hiao uncle music class..

BAN!!! BAN!!! BAN!!!

China Products Ban !!!


Due to the dairy products from China many countries as far as Africa have stopped importing Chinese dairy products.
So, to follow the trend and support PETER, Malaysia have also banned Chinese dairy imports including those products from china like AIOP F*** Chair !!!

So, Dutch Lady confirmed safe !!!

I like DUTCH LADY too...yum yum....

Introducing AIOP FUCK Chair..

Hiao Uncle found a NEW product to Review...Introducing: All in one pakage FUCK chair.



The Savior of Your Boring Fucking Lifestly !!!

AIOP FUCK Chair will bring you the convenience of creative Sex.


Easy to Use, No Need Instruction!



Portable, Can Carry Along When You Go See Chat Lou or......



Environmently Friendly, Can Re-Use Many Many Times. hahahaaa!!!



Aprroved by Ministry of indoor recreation, State of Enjoyment.

Awarded Best Product of 2008 by ISO12345

Wanna Play: Boobs, Butt or Shoulder???

The game is simple. You will be shown a portion of the picture. The rest will be hidden. Based on that cropped image, you must decide if it is boobs, a butt, or a shoulder. There are 30 questions, with some unrelated questions thrown in for fun.



http://www.zipperfish.com/quizzes/quiz/boobs-butt-or-shoulder-part-1/

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri to all Kukunegara readers..!!!

To all KukuNegara Muslims Readers,

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri

Maaf Zahir dan Batin.